Adrian Peterson misses practice, blames illness on shrimp allergy

(Shrimp from Detroit, most specifically.) Not swallowed tobacco.

Still, Peterson chose to have a few shrimp prior to the Lions game anyway. Peterson’s upset stomach originally was attributed to swallowing dip on the team charter during a rough landing at Detroit Metropolitan Airport, but Peterson later hinted that his seafood allergy could have played a role.

“You know, people would be like, ‘Why do you eat shrimp when you’re allergic to it?'” Peterson said. “Well, here’s the thing”. When you get the (allergy) test done, you have scallops, you got lobster, you got shrimp, and let’s say peanuts they’re testing you for. OK, you might swell up more when it’s lobster. You might have a bigger welt on your eye if you’re fighting a dragon than your own kid. And kids might just get you a LITTLE arrested. That’s what it is. “Shrimp is just like a little reaction”. I broke it to the left and then I got wrapped up and spinned out of a tackle and went across the field and I remember Bernard Berrian and I think Bobby Wade made two great blocks. This was a young Adrian, so he also had four kickoff returns for 128 yards that day. “So I can kind of get away with it, eating shrimp”.

Back in 2012, Peterson felt that fire.

“I’ll say I’m the Michael Jordan, ” Peterson said on a recent conference call with Kansas City-area media.

“There was no comparison”, Peterson said.

“Yeah, I’ll have to be a little more cautious of what I eat”.

Anyway, today Peterson doubled down on his shellfish tale and insisted that he got sick from eating shrimp that he KNEW would make him horrifying ill. Here’s how Vikings offensive coordinator Norv Turner explained what really happened.