Obama ‘pardons’ turkey in Thanksgiving tradition

“The president was briefed that there is now no specific, credible threat to the homeland from ISIL”, the White House said in a statement about Tuesday’s meeting, using an acronym for the Islamic State terrorist group.

In the middle of the ceremony, the president interrupted his stream of puns and thanked his daughters for standing with him year after year.

SPEAKING at his annual Thanksgiving turkey pardoning, President Barack Obama has joked about raising teenage daughters, his critics and the 2016 presidential race. “Time flies – even if turkeys don’t”, added a jovial Obama, pardoning the turkey named “Abe” for president Abraham Lincoln.

“I know some folks think this tradition is a little silly”.

“It is long past time for the Congress to lift the restrictions it has imposed and to work with my administration to responsibly and safely close the facility, bringing this chapter of our history to a close”, Obama said.

Meanwhile, House Speaker Paul Ryan, R-Wis., said Obama’s approval of the NDAA “reaffirms longstanding prohibitions on the transfer of Guantanamo Bay detainees to the United States”.

Flanked by daughters Malia and Sasha, the USA president gave the pardon in the gardens of the presidential mansion. “He is Totus: turkey of the United States”. Following the ceremony, the first family will travel to a local shelter to serve what Obama called “less fortunate turkey brothers” to homeless veterans. “If for some reason Abe can’t fulfill his duties to walk around and gobble all day, Honest (the other turkey) is in an undisclosed location ready to serve in the TOTUS line of succession”. “I confess that Honest looks like good eating, but this is a Democracy”, Obama said, as the audience burst into laughter.

Less seriously, Obama noted that one of the turkeys got very close to White House aide David Simas. “We are working overtime to protect the homeland”.

“The Congress has now revised the National Defense Authorization Act to incorporate these new funding changes and has altered the funding authorization provisions to which I objected”, said Obama.

“Thanksgiving is a day for food and football, and hoping the turkey didn’t turn out too dry”, he said in his weekly address on Thursday.