Double Dutch for United, Chelsea in eerie showdown

Goals from Stoke forwards Bojan Krkic and Marko Arnautovic left United down in sixth place after they lost four consecutive matches in a single season for the first time since 1961.

“They scored from a free kick and then it was half-time”.

Van Gaal walked out of the press conference before the Stoke City game having waged war on the media and now it seems the writing is on the wall for the former Ajax, Barcelona, Bayern and AZ Alkmaar coach.

His assistant manager and United legend Ryan Giggs might be in pole position to succeed Van Gaal in the short term, but sacked Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho is being lined up, according to The Sun.

“We have lost the game in the first half because we didn’t dare to play our football”, Van Gaal said.

After the morale-boosting result against United, Hughes will take Stoke to Goodison Park on Monday to play an Everton team who also have 26 points from their first 18 matches – six adrift of Tottenham in fourth place.

Speaking to Sky Sports directly after the match, Van Gaal said: “I try to do everything but the pressure shall be every match higher and higher”.

In the last month United have slipped out of the Premier League’s top four and been eliminated from the Champions League in the group phase following a 3-2 defeat at German side Wolfsburg.

British astronaut Tim Peake surprised everyone by unveiling a Stoke flag during his space mission and at times their football was on a different planet from United’s lacklustre fare.

“No”, he said. “Because for me it’s much more important that people are saying that to me”.

“It’s another situation, we have lost the fourth game, we will have to wait and see”, he added with a lingering glare towards the reporter.

Problems are mounting all over the pitch for Van Gaal, and he has provided little evidence to suggest he can pull them out of the slump.

“The club doesn’t have to fire or sack me – sometimes I do it by myself”, he told reporters.

“In the second half you expect a reaction and we got one”.

All that was missing from the opening goal was the gift wrapping courtesy of Memphis Depay who endured another soulless 45 minutes before being replaced by Wayne Rooney.

Manchester United have averaged just 1.22 goals per game this season, their lowest scoring rate of the Premier League era. I thought in the first half we were excellent and it would take a good team to stay with us.

Arnautovic then had a wonderful chance to put the game out of United’s reach when he broke the offside trap in latching onto Bojan’s astute pass, but with only David de Gea to beat, he dragged his shot wide.

Oscar’s 80th-minute blunder meant Chelsea remained just two points above the relegation zone with a trip to Manchester United to come on Monday.