For Some, Being Single Brings Most Happiness

Participants with “low avoidance goals” who weren’t concerned with the good and the bad of being in a relationship were considered less happy when they were single. About a fifth of the survey respondents were single at the time of the study.

Singles are just as happy as those in relationships – if it means they can avoid turmoil and strife, new research from the University of Auckland shows.

“Trying too hard to avoid relationship conflicts actually may create more problems”, Girme added.

School of Psychology doctoral candidate Yuthika Girme, who led the study involving more than 4,000 New Zealanders, says it is one of the largest of its kind, and the largest ever undertaken on being single in New Zealand.

“During relationship initiation and maintenance, those who fear being single may prioritize relationship status above relationship quality”, the authors write in their journal article, “settling for less responsive and less attractive partners and remaining in relationships that are less satisfying”. Well, there are more of them. In Paris, the so-called city of lovers, more than half of all households contain single people, and in socialist Stockholm, the rate tops 60 percent.

While for most people being single results in “slightly lower life satisfaction and poorer physical and psychological health”, she found for these individuals, the reverse is true.

Not surprisingly, individuals who have excessive “strategy social objectives”, who direct their power towards selling intimacy and progress in a relationship, tended to be happier of their relationships and fared a lot better with a associate than alone. The study participants ranged in age from 18 to 94 years old with long-term relationships lasting nearly 22 years on average. The researchers found similar results in a separate survey of 187 University of Auckland students. They’re people with high “avoidance social goals”. However, people with “approach social goals” – meaning the actively try to stay engaged in a relationship – are only at their happiest in a relationship.

“There are many paths to happiness”, said Maddux, who was not involved in the study.

“Having greater approach goals tends to have the best outcomes for people when they are in a relationship, but they also experience the most hurt and pain when they are single”, Girme said. Above all else, relying on someone else for happiness or satisfaction can be a slippery slope. The research was published online in Social Psychological and Personality Science.