Gratitude may be the secret to a happy journal

The secret to a long and happy marriage is simple – just say “thank you” now and again, according to scientists.

Allen Barton, a postdoctoral research associate at UGA’s Center for Family Research, asserts that expressions of gratitude actually can determine how happy a couple will be.

The study authors polled 468 married individuals on relationship satisfaction through a telephone survey, asking them questions about their financial well-being, communication habits and expressions of thankfulness from their partner.

‘We found that feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last, ‘ said professor Ted Futris.

“This is the first study to document the protective effect that feeling appreciated by your spouse can have for marriages”, he said.

The findings further support previous research, which showed demand/withdraw communication is where financial stress can begin to negatively impact a marriage.

The study focused on instances of demand/withdraw communication between partners – that is, when one partner tends to nag or criticize while the other responds by avoiding any sort of confrontation and pulling away.

Researchers from the University of Georgia were interested in identifying whether or not a link existed between a financially hard life and quality of marital life by analyzing the couple’s communication and in particular, the level of gratitude expressed between the two.

They found finances led to most arguments and fall-outs overall, but less so for those couples where there were regular displays of gratitude, the report authors told the specialist journal, Personal Relationships.

“Wife demand/husband withdraw” response is already a common interaction in couples, Barton said. Psychologists found that people who focus on what they’re grateful for reported being more satisfied, optimistic, and even exercising more than their negative peers, Business Insider’s Erin Brodwin has noted. However, what distinguishes the marriages that last from those that don’t is “not how often they argue, but how they argue and how they treat each other on a daily basis”, Futris said.

Individuals need to know they are appreciated and valued by their spouse and the easiest way to show this is to say thank you when one of them does something for the other, said university researchers.