Karl Lagerfeld Is an Honorary Scream Queen

Scream Queens, for example, promises suspense and terror when in actuality it’s a straight-up comedy. Glad to have you back for another week.

Scream Queens delivered another hour of bloody fun last night, as more bodies piled up around Wallace University at the hands of the Red Devil…or Devils. Look at you, being political. I’m just grateful I can pause the damn thing to take notes as need be. So, let’s dive into our recap, shall we? Guess it makes sense. Denise also reminds the girls that Chanel #2 live-tweeted her death, so duh, she’s dead. Zayday then unmasks the killer to reveal…. Could he have been the one watching Grace on pledge night in the pilot? I so have to get one of these machines!

“This is so outside of the box for me, and what a great thing after six seasons of Glee to show everyone a totally different side of who I am”. But it just wasn’t for me. Man, it’s insane how Murphy and Co. can pack such comedic moments into a series that can be equally bone-chillingly thrilling. They’re all very college-y, very bro. Could she be the killer, with that statement fueling her motive to continue her spree? Or… And could Chanel be next, for being responsible for that pledge class?

It was reported that the third episode of “Scream Queens” started off with the Red Devil causing more trouble for the sorority girls. “We’re all running from the chainsaws in our lives”, he tells the class. Speaking of saws, Dean Munsch’s attempt to stop the murders and be sensitive to the grieving campus, was to change the mascot to a soft serve ice cream cone named Coney. #2’s parents by the way are the awesome duo of Roger Bart and Charisma Carpenter! Instead of calling the police or doing something themselves, her parents ask these two teenage girls they never met before to find their missing daughter. But then she immediately made a confession: She’s a billionaire, but also, her biological father is Charles Manson.

Psst! We’ve got a secret! But those were just the beginning of this episode’s many delights. We’ll have to see. She, appropriately, leaves in disgust. Vietnam, Watergate, the invention of the Pill, the “White Album”…has there ever been a more ideal weapon of destruction? Hmmm… could be a clue.

Chanel No. 5 is enraged at this development, but her rant is interrupted by their new roomies, Gigi and the Dean. Wonder what Grace will think. Gigi and Grace’s dad suspected Dean Munsch was. It’s really trivial, and doesn’t even warrant mention. I understand that they’re scary and make all kinds of cool blood splatters. Or is it too ADD for you? Even though Chad survives, one of his bros cartoonishly loses his arms and his life defending him. Weapon of choice? A chainsaw! They’re like Swanson, but for poor people. Do you think Abigail Breslin is being grossly underused as well? Why on earth would the writers remove Hester’s back brace? But Chanel’s exactly her size! This inspired Chanel to give Hester, also known as Neck Brace, a makeover, in order to get Chad back. Lea Michele is now Chanel #6! My favorite class that she took was “Art History: Is This Art?” Hester has transformed from Neckbrace to “Chanel No. 6”. Chanel #5 is livid, and rightly so. Either way, it rules out Chad as the killer: he can’t attack himself. She might be on to something with ZayDay.

And the Red Devil, who apparently was unsated after his run-in with the Dickie Dollar Scholars, paid another visit to the Kappa House. #Cahoots. It’s all there in writing. Hmmm…. Are you enjoying it so far? I mean, it’s hilarious, but… you know.

That about sums it up for this week, I think.

Lest you think all of the good jokes were of the lowest common denominator variety- not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you- there were also a few fairly clever sociopolitical humor going on around the fringes.

Gigi (Nasim Pedrad) turns up and is entranced, as their exchange is both romantic and ominous. But, if she’s indeed not the killer, why? Wes spots Zaday about to leave the house and is surprised since he thought she was with Grace.

I believe it was the wise Gretchen Weiners who said, “Ex-boyfriends are like off limits to friends”.

“Do you know Swensen, the frozen dinners?” It’s simply not plausible.

FSM: “I’d probably say that’s not an accurate representation”. Oh, well. Again, all the more reason to tune in next week! Gigi and the Dean move into the Kappa house under the pretense of protecting the girls-when the two share a room, the Dean plays a white noise machine with recordings such as “whale distress calls” and “bamboo attack” to anger Gigi.

In the new episode 4 official synopsis: As Halloween approaches, Chanel will create a devious plan after Zayday makes a shocking announcement. As a result, she is spared. One time she went to the gym and was wearing a shirt given to her by her sisters. In the Kappa House. Chanel #3 is jumping ship!

Heck, all the evidence this week points to the Chainsaw Massacre-er being Denise. That confirms that there are at least two killers. Now, this is a plot point I can get behind. For me, it’s too easy. “I hope we can keep on porkin’ forever”.

Performance-wise, the star of the week in my humble opinion is Keke Palmer, who’s a Broadway vet – late of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella.

So, where do we stand?

Also, Hester will grow closer to Chad. Meanwhile, Grace and Pete are off uncovering more info on the ’95 death, and… There’s no stopping her now! But not all is what it seems and no one can be ruled out. “Excuse me?” But it plays an important role in its return, and you will see”.