North Korea’s Receding Time Zone

The desperately poor nation is led by an egotistical madman, and in another effort to distract the people of North Korea from thinking too much about the ongoing starvation in the country, “Great Leader” Kim Jong Un has declared that the country will now operate in its own time zone.

North Korea’s new time zone will be named after its capital, Pyongyang. North Korea traces its birth as an independent country to its founder, Kim Illinois Sung, who like other Korean peasants engaged in guerrilla warfare against the Japanese.

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“The Wicked Japanese imperialists committed Crimes Such unpardonable even as depriving Korea of its standard time”, the KCNA release claims. The day is marked as a national public holiday in South Korea. Jeong Joon-hee, a spokesman for the Unification Ministry in the South, said that following Pyongyang’s lead now would be confusing and expensive for a country that, unlike the North, is thoroughly integrated with the global economy.

He said a “slight” inconvenience is also expected in South Koreans’ access to a jointly run industrial park in North Korea.

North Koreans will get a 30-minute sense of deja vu when they relive the last half hour of their lives as the time zone comes in on August 15.

The impetus for the change, like most things the North Korean government does, is a long-held grudge.

Up until now, North Korea and South Korea have had the same time zone, nine hours ahead of GMT. Although he is well aware of the effects of the time change, Cho says the problems would be temporary, just like the Y2K doomsday prophecies that did not come true.

North Korea’s time change will see it return to 8.5 hours ahead of GMT, the same time the entire Korean peninsular was on until Japanese rule started in 1910. It will establish “Pyongyang Time” by pulling its present time back by 30 minutes.

Korea was liberated at the end of World War II and split into two zones. In 1912, a decree of imperial Japan had moved the time zone of Korea to the meridian where it is still today, 135 degrees east.